Our Daily Rhythm (NOT Routine!): Homeschooling While Working

Do you find creating the perfect homeschool routine for your family difficult?

I did. 

You have to make it work for everyone, which is no easy task if you have multiple aged children AND you are working, like me and my husband. 

But we figured it out with some deep reflection. 

This is our process:

If you know me at all, you will know that I (loosely) follow a Montessori approach when it comes to home educating my children. 

What does the Montessori approach to homeschooling look like? 

It means that I encourage my kids to be independent and I follow their lead. 

I observe them, consider what skills they are working on, what their interests are, and prepare their environment so that they can choose what they want to do and freely work on those things without interruption.

I respect my children’s needs and guide them so that they can fulfill their inner drive to learn.

This is one part of our family’s rhythm.

Scroll down to see our current family rhythm.

If you want to know how we make homeschooling and full time employment work together, visit my other blog post: How I Homeschool While Full Time Employed

‘What is a family rhythm anyway?’ I hear you say, ‘Aren’t you just talking about a routine?’

I would say routines are built more by consideration of timings and often totally directed by adults. 

Rhythm, however, is the natural flow of the day guided by all participants of the household. It is not bound or restricted by time, but there is a general order that everyone tends to follow.

It is important to me to have a family rhythm, rather than an adult-directed routine, to ensure that all members of my family – adults and kids – feel included in our daily structures and have the balance and stability that comes with that.

So, how do I go about finding our family rhythm? 

The absolute, most necessary first step to creating our family’s rhythm is to OBSERVE. This is what the Montessori method is all about.

Now, this is harder than it seems.

The Montessori approach to observations is to observe with objectivity, to observe like a doctor might (which is what Maria Montessori, the founder of the Montessori method, was). 

This means describe what you see, but make no judgments of what you see – even positive judgements.

So when I was on maternity leave and had the freedom to be with the children all day, I did just that – I observed. 

• I observed what times the kids tended to wake up and what moods they woke up in.

• I observed how their moods developed during the day and what caused changes in their moods.

• I observed the natural breaks in the day and what times the kids would get hungry and want to eat.

• I observed what time of day my kids demonstrated the most concentration when playing or working with a material.

• I observed how long they stayed focused before moving onto something else.

• I observed when the kids seemed to have the most energy for big movement with their bodies.

• I observed when the children were ready to go to bed.

I didn’t just observe my children, I included my partner in my observations too, and took part in some self reflection for me.

• When did I feel most awake and full of energy?
• When did I feel most tired and unable to function?
• What were the triggers that led me to be unable to regulate my emotions?
• What would help me not get triggered?
• What did my husband and I need from our family rhythm?
• What did the kids need from our family rhythm?

These questions and observations were super important to work out our ideal rhythm and flow of the day.

It was especially important because I needed to look forward a few months to my return to work and consider how we could all handle that transition as best as possible.

So what did I need?

• I needed a good chunk of uninterrupted time with my kids.

• I also needed a good chunk of uninterrupted time to do my paid work.

What did my husband need?

• He needed a good chunk of uninterrupted time to do his paid work.

• He needed to do this paid work broadly between the usual hours of 9am-6pm.

What did my children need?

• They needed time to play or uninterrupted focused learning time in the morning when well rested and in good moods.
• They needed connection time with mummy and daddy.
• My daughter needed time with peers.
• My baby needed two naps during the day.

I also made the effort to communicate with our childcare provider, explain our situation and needs, and together we agreed on a plan that worked. This was a very important step.

Taking all this into account, below is our current family rhythm.

As you can see, it takes time to figure out the right rhythm and it requires slowing down the pace completely so that you can really observe.

My biggest battle now is consistency and resolve! 

When I’ve forced myself to wake up early before the kids so that I can spend some time on getting myself ready for the day, I’m always in a better mood. If I don’t, it can go downhill real fast.

At the same time, rhythms are there to help keep things flexible.

Because, let’s face it, when it comes to kids, sometimes you just have to go with the flow! And when that happens, I will give myself grace.